“Home has less to do with a piece of soil and more to do with a piece of Soul” -Pico Iyer
When I first began this journey I felt restless and as thought I didn’t know where I belonged. I faced this deep reality that if I took off, I might never come “home”… or at least not to the greater sense of what I’ve know Home to be.
As I began to drive the idea of Home really plagued me. Miranda Lambert sang “you can never come home”. Sayings ramble “home is where the heart is”. But the thing is I’ve traveled about this world and continue to find myself in a sense of Home all over this plant.
I was born and raised in Cave Creek, Arizona which will always be a place I call Home.
The first sense of home that I had outside of my childhood residence was my grandparents ranch in South Dakota. Spending the summers wandering and freely exploring thousands of acres, I found this greater sense of what I was capable of; riding a horse, driving a rusty pickup through a narrow opening, hooking a fish on a cane pole, waking up at sunrise to feed the feral cats, and whipping up a fried chicken meal.
In 2011 I received the great invitation to move even further West. All fear aside for an unknown place, I always had had this greater sense that the coast of California would be my Home. It wasn’t until I drive down Main St in Downtown Ventura that I knew where I’d always belonged. While the first few years here I struggled to find my people, I never lost that sense of this truly being my Home.
Fast forward to 2014 as I took off to the other side of the world. Launching off into what might be considered an early addition of “Into the Wild’ journey. My down under friend, Hayden and childhood friend Raquel embarked on a 5000 mile adventure traveling the eastern sea board of Australia. Halfway through our drive we landed upon this picturesque place known as Byron Bay. I could have stayed there forever. In fact it felt so reminiscent, that I’d swear I’d been there before. A curiosity of how I place I’ve never been could seem so familiar. It was the first time I ever questioned what Home meant.
2018 shared Ubud, Bali + my little square of North East Idaho. Within 4 months of each other I’d found two more homes on opposite sides of the world and imbedded in entirely separate cultures.
2019 Kyoto, Japan I saw glimpses of myself literally in another time rambling through the bustling streets romanticized by Geisha.
And that still leaves India… it’s been calling me Home for the better part of 5 years. These days I don’t know when I’ll get there but I already know I’ll find a greater sense of Home.
I share these thoughts with you, because as humans we’ve just spent more time “at home” in 2020 than we ever thought conceivably possible. We all were faced with the tests that this time in lockdown chucked at us. So many people shared horror stories of what their experiences have been like.
The irony in all of this, for me the lockdown and isolation didn’t feel much different than being on the road. When I’m ‘Into the Wild’ I’m often alone and being made to look at all the harsh realities that I can no longer run from. The facade that I used to hide behind, the busy-ness that used to entrain me… these false realities can no longer keep me from facing the truth of who and what was really there.
I dig in and continue to face fears, in all likeness I will for the rest of my life. Whether that’s a fear of sleeping alone at my house and someone breaking in at night or the fear of sleeping alone in my tent and a bear breaking an entry. They’re both very misleading to the environments I’d find myself in during quarantine or on the road. I’ve run into the fear of getting lost, of breaking a leg, of drowning in the middle of no where… but I’ve also run into the fear of someone not liking me, not knowing the right answer, of being vulnerable to a stranger, of breaking someone’s heart, of speaking up for what’s right…
Learning to truly hear and TRUST my intuition has been my greatest fear radar. My intuition butts into the thought loops I get stuck within my head and asks:
“Where does that come from? Is that thought, action, reaction True of me or did someone else teach me that?”
It really cuts to the core when we begin to realize that often our thoughts aren’t even our own.
My connection to my Intuition in 2018 is what finally brought me HOME. Literally it told me, enough is enough, it’s time to come back to Ventura. But figuratively it showed me that no matter how faraway I wander, I can always come Home.
Coming home, is coming Home to myself. This greater essence of seeing who I truly am at my core. Home lies at the doorstep of my True Self.
Today leaves me 2.5 hours away from home, in how could I forget… Joshua Tree!! What has always felt like
a spiritual home away from home. JTree is shown me some of the greatest wisdom and today’s adventure has been no short glory story of coming Home to myself.
Life is a beautiful journey. I hope you Venture Well.