{2020} Wild Diaries :: Day 2


All seems quite natural according to the tweets from the birds. The river has always streamed LIVE.The world doesn’t seem like such a frighten place when you get your news from the trees and the bees.


And just like that, I sink in. The outer world can melt away for a few days. It won’t miss me and I won’t miss it, momentarily. This time is an important reset. My body has been feeling the building tensions and the growing fear that is rising from the Collective. For the past 4 months we’ve been living in a world of great uncertainty. We don’t know what's true or what the future holds. Our foundations have been challenged or possibly even crumbled.

I’m sure questions have been bubbling up such as: “What are we to do?” and “How do we continue on when we don’t know the fate of our planet?”


The truth is I’ve been caught up in this way of thinking as well. But, Nature has a way of reminding me the truth of things.


The truth is, if you were to wander out into a remote place on this plane, it would have no idea that we are in the midsts of a Global Pandemic and a Racial Injustice Movement. Think about that for a moment. Think about it in the context of “if a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it actually make a sound?”


If a human wanders out into nature do the problems of humanity still continue on?

Is said human still in jeopardy of the human issues?

For me, when I take this time away its with permission to momentarily cease the challenges that plague me in my “human-ness”. Suddenly I’m no longer a business owner. I don’t have any bills to pay. The phone goes on airplane mode (God Bless Airplane mode) and suddenly I’m FREE.


As I write that a huge sighed EXHALE escapes my chest. Followed by an inhale that suddenly takes up space deeper down into my belly. I can BREATHE! Sometimes I don’t even realize that I’m not really truly breathing. I’ll catch myself in everyday life. The sigh of my exhale will suddenly catch me off guard, as if I don’t know where that audible sound just came from. Followed by the question “was I really just holding my breath?”


What happens to our “human-ness” when we remember to Breathe and can find the sense of freedom a quality inhale and exhale provide? I’ve been playing with the answer to that question for the past 3 years. In fact, the first half of the answer, is very much what I shared on Day 1’s podcast episode. This idea that Nature allows us to Reconcile our burdens. It allows us just to BE.


The second half of the answer comes with seemingly more questions.


If we were to sit in Nature for the rest of our life, what happens to our labels? Sister, daughter, Boss, Aunt, Teacher, Venturian, etc etc etc.


Can I still be these associations in relationship to a bear?

Who am I to a bear?

Does a bear call me human?

Or am I what he labels a threat? A curiosity? A meal ticket?


If I become these new associations, do I still have an association as a “daughter” while a bear rummages through my ice chest?


Now, take this questioning even a layer deeper… as you read the above thought provoking questions… WHO is reading them? Have you ever really stopped to think about the voice in your head?


Why does it feel so separate from the body?

Why when my body is perfectly at rest does it suddenly worry about the impending hurricane on the other side of the country?

Why is it so hard to find peace, once the mind has grasped hold of a worry or an emotion?


It then becomes the question of: WHO is this mind?

Take as much time as you need with this, a lifetime likely. The first time I came across a breakdown of the Egoic mind, I froze. It’s funny how when you become a watcher of the mind that suddenly it becomes shy. Like it’s been found out.

If you’ve been following me or listening to my podcast for awhile you’ve heard me say that I don’t think of the Ego as the enemy anymore. I find the Ego/Mind to be the Warrior that protects us. It’s been militantly trained to keep us safe. First with the simple ideas of “look both ways before you cross the street” then without awareness it begins to pick up on the subtle cues of society.


Making money = safety.

Fitting in = safety

Not securing a designated camp spot = NOT SAFE. Red Alert. A bear could break into your tent at night if no one else is around. What if someone wants to rob you, you’d be so vulnerable. What if a fire breaks out? What if it thunderstorms? What if… What if… What if….

Phewwww, that’s exhausting even typing it. But that’s just the thing with the mind. It keeps us in a perpetual loop of everything we “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing to stay safe. We can get wound up in a tizzy so suddenly that our chest tightens, we aren't breathing, we can no longer sleep, and whether we realize it or not our body is compromised with dis-ease that if it lingers, it weakens our energetic body, our immune system and makes us subject to affliction.


How do we re-train this "Warrior"? Is it even possible?


I'm so glad you asked!


There are many practices that I've refined for myself over the years. As I mentioned, sometimes being the watcher of the mind is enough to break its cycle. Regular/daily meditation is a perfect integration to bring awareness, without judgement, to the battles the mind is waging. Journaling, learning to work with your Intuition, and of course getting lost in Nature are a few of my favorite ways to reset the mind. However, most important is to remember to always come back to your breath. Our breath is our vitality, it enhances our energetic body, and it is the only true sense of control we actually have.


Break the mind loop:

Fear is the greatest disease -> Nature is the remedy for fear -> Nature creates breath -> Breath is our connection, our key to our Freedom.

Amongst the mind chatter from yesterday, here I sit on public land, alone, in Inyo County, "reminding the mind" that it is safe. My tent is still standing and I am without any marks of a bear attack. I exhale and in this moment I think:


“Thanks mind, I appreciate you exhausting the efforts to keep me alive, but my intuition guided me to this magical spot that your logic could have never brought me to. We are and always were safe here. I’m going to give you a bit of a break and let the Inner Voice take over this journey from here on out”


And as I inhale once again, just like that, momentarily, I’m FREE!

I share all of this with you in efforts to evoke a sense of awareness around the tumultuous rollercoaster that our mind creates. To bring some awareness around the separation that happens between mind, body, and spirit. When these can work in Harmony you are awarded with that sense of freedom... or peace. When I’m home we will still be trying to find answers for the Covid-19 struggles. I will continue to be an ally for the Black Lives Matter movement. But because I give myself permission to step away and extend this sense of peace to my mind, I will be able to come home and approach these Human challenges with an Innate sense of awareness, rather than the Egoic mind’s baseline of Fear.



As I pack up my tent from the first night of camping, I feel like I've truly stepped into this journey. I'll be sharing a podcast episode about the giant "Surprise" I gifted myself, due to my lack of planning. You can find episodes Here, and subscribe on your favorite podcast network to be notified when new episodes go live.


Leave me some thoughts, or expand upon them with your comments below!


Life is a beautifully mind altering journey. I hope you Venture Well!

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